i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
