i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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