I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
