Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
