capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
