Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
