you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you told grandpa to call you daddy
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My ATM looks so different sober.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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