how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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