so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
