He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
