may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
