I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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