Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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