just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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