the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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