The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
