He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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