So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he shaved USA in his pubs
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize