i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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