when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
