So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I AM VODKA MAN
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
