lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
