he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
