Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
