My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he puts the penis in happiness.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
