i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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