It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
