I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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