3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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