I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Randomize
