Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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