she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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