I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
