Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize