i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
