garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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