Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
