:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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