well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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