just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
