Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
