Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
