Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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