Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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