I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
