glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
