it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize