is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
