Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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