Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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