She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize