I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
