if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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