this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
