HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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