the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
