gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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