I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
