And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
