OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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