If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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