you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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