i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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