Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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