Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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