I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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