i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't think brook has ever known best
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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