I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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